Slip Up

Last night I slipped up. I had 3 slices of pizza.

I feel genuinely bad about it - and I'm writing in on here so that the next time I think about doing it I can remember how bad I felt. I feel like i've let myself down, and that I expected mroe from myself. I want to reach a goal weight of about 10 stone before moving on to the next stage in which other foods get introduced, and that teh idea of getting to that shoudl be enough motivation to keep me on the right path. I've also lost my first stone and I don't want to give up now and watch that all pile back on - it would mean everything up till now was for nothing.

I've not been happy with myself for a long time. I really haven't. Not because I'm a horrible person or there's anything wrong with me but because I hate what I see in the mirror. I feel so unattractive and I've always been interested in fashion and clothes and I had gotten to the point where I just felt so huge I didn't want to try any clothes on in case I had to go up another size. That life isn't worth living, and definitely isn't worth going back to for the sake of 3 slices of pizza.

So the moral here is I slipped up, but I'm back on the horse. I'm not going to let this slip up ruin everything I've done. But I want to remember how awful I feel about it because I don't want to repeat it. Saying you can just draw a line under something like this is fine once. But if you're slipping up every night you're not dieting anymore and youhave to be firm - because the line between one slip up and slipping up once a day is your own doing. And I want to make that a big, bold line.